i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
