I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
