i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
