I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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