Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
