Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
