If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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