Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
