fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
