you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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