just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
