I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
