THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
