is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
