Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
