I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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