He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
