wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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