So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
