Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
BRING THE BAGELS
I wear drunk well.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
