just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
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