I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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