So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
