marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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