That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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