Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
