Yo dont text me then not text me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
