i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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