Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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