Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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