The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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