god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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