I met the friendliest cop last night
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
