Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i think i have herpe
just one?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
