tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
