North Korea, Best Korea!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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