Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I cannot find my penis.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
