Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize