I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
