he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
