this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
