Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
