Im at strip club and am horny
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
