ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
