the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
