Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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