He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
