Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
