So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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