Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
