your parents love me but you hate me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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