no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
