If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
