remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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